A Deficit in Self Awareness: Consumption Compels Creativity

How dare we say we cannot lead creative lives because they are frivolous, that we cannot devote our time to creating because it is indulgent, when we spend much of our time consuming the creativity and creations of others? How dare we diminish our value as creatives, our right to create when we partake in the enjoyment and profound delight in experiencing the work and creativity of others? I am incredulous. We are asleep. We are so disconnected from ourselves and what we do. We deride the very idea of creating as we delight in the cinema, the Netflix, the books, the art, the board games, the music of creatives who were audacious enough to give us their creativity; the very right we are denying the world when we minimize and belittle our own capacity and right as creatives.

I don’t know what exactly triggered this thought, but I snatched my phone from the nightstand last night while reading We Need Your Art by Amie McNee to write down my thought: ‘we all consume (art) so why do we think it’s silly to make what we love to consume?’ I believe it was the act on blocks when this thought wave materialized, and it held me captive for a few moments. This idea that we think it’s silly to create. There I was, having spent the evening after putting my son down reading and yet the little goblin in the back of my mind sometimes whispers that I’m silly for wanting to and devoting time to writing my own stories, my blog, my content. For me this guilty thought of my creative drive being silly is two pronged; it is a narrative that is so ingrained in us by society and as a new mom I don’t want to feel like I’m prioritizing something silly over spending time and energy on my child, especially with the back to work conversation looming in the not too distant future. 

The Deficit - no creating but consume consume consume

It is so pervasive in our society today: consumption. And yet I don’t think many of us realize how much of that consumption is of creativity, of art, of entertainment, even in relation to the very practical things we buy and do like the marketing on the shampoo bottle we choose off the shelf or the new posters in the gym. We consume in such excess, and often without any true intention. Even when we do consume with intention we seemingly forget that what we are being picky about includes the consumption of creativity, of what we want to read, watch, view, encounter. Yet we starve our own lives of the joy of creating because we would never spend our time on such a useless, frivolous, silly, childish, activity. I will ask you this: what makes your day better? What brings joy to your lunch hour? What do you and your coworkers chat about in the break room? The answer is usually art of some kind - music, a new show, the book you can’t put down, the gallery you visited on the weekend, the handknit scarf you adore. Those are all products of creativity. We need to ask ourselves, if we can enjoy consuming creativity, if it’s okay to consume the creativity of others, why do we deny ourselves the pleasure, the need, the desire, to create ourselves and dare to take it seriously? 

The Very Real Guilt - narratives of frivolity; mom is last

The reason we don’t allow ourselves permission to create in our own lives , in our own ways, is usually a narrative we have been led to believe is true, typically fed to us by society or those close to us. We can enjoy the creativity of these other people because they are considered successful in society; their creativity is their work and therefore of value. Our creativity is ‘just a hobby’ or something you did as a child that you enjoyed, or reserved for you alone. It’s not the same. But it is the same. It is life giving to the creative behind the creation. It is not frivolous to express yourself. It is not childish to want to play with joy in your life. It is not useless to spend your time developing a skill. It is not silly to make something for yourself. It is necessary. These narratives come from a world that values commercial success, monetary gain, and glorifies self sacrifice and busyness. It doesn’t care about who you are or how you are, only that you produce and work and stay small. Maybe traditional stability in a career was more important in your house than creativity. Wherever these narratives come from, it is our job to let them go when they are not serving us, when they are stunting us, when they are making us feel small and silly.   

Something to add to this section is the perspective I know many creatives who are parents face. It feels very indulgent, borderline neglectful to spend time on a hobby of yours instead of doing bath time with your husband for the kids. It feels selfish to close your bedroom door to write or paint or draw, or code while your kids are home. This is particularly difficult to navigate for mothers. We are told we are the primary nurturers, always expected to put everyone else’s needs and wants above our own basic survival needs. We love our children. We would give up and do anything for them for our entire lives. There is nothing wrong with that kind of love. There is something wrong with devaluing ourselves as humans. There is a problem when we don’t give ourselves space to actually fill our cups when we can, how we can so that we can show up as a better version of ourselves for our kids. Not only to serve them, but to show them what investing in yourself looks like, what taking care of yourself looks like. 

The Remedy - self empowerment, pouring into our cup makes us better

How do we climb out of this deficit of creative awareness? How do we rewrite these narratives that keep us in shame and doubt about our right to create? WE CREATE. We engage with creativity. We talk about creativity. We prioritize creativity. We give ourselves space to explore creativity beyond consuming it. We actually do it. And when we actually do it we empower ourselves to rewrite those narratives, to notice what we consume and what we want to make, to learn how to open our lives to creativity. Creativity is self awareness, self development, self expression. It fills us up, even when it goes a little wonky, even if we are new, even if we are bad at it. Find tutorials online, take a class, start with ten minutes after the kids are asleep, a doodle on a napkin, a daydream in your journal. Anything to get you started, anything to begin carving out space in your life to create. 

Consume away creative, but don’t let that stop you from creating yourself. Consumption of creativity inspires creativity. Let consumption compel you to create; make more of what you love.